Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Not again

So i am single again. I know dear readers you cannot believe it. Based on my track record you never saw it coming.

It wasn't anything that went wrong, it just wasn't easy. It should be easy and it should be fun. It shouldn't be worry and fret.

I guess the distance played a factor it is never easy trying to fix the hiccups when you don't see each other. This person will always hold a dear place in my heart. They inspired me to do things I never thought I would.

On another note blue eyes is getting married. Now that was a bit of a shock. I wish him all the love, luck and happiness in the world. I really hope it all works out perfect for him. And that is the honest truth.

Not sure what will happen in my life now but I know I have the most super friends on the planet and they need to get massive high 5s. Thanks for Friday ladies I needed it. Fingers crossed for Saturday.

Got a lot going on in the next few weeks; Christmas, new year, my 30th, starting my degree so I have a lot to focus on. No dwelling on the past anymore. Time to be happy.

Here's to dinosaurs and seahorses.

And speaking of seahorses thank you Scott Owen for my most perfect Christmas present ever. I love him.
"Light of my life, fire of my loins"



Monday, December 17, 2012

What is love?

Of the five theories in this article in the Comment is Free section of the Guardian I think the most accurate is by Catherine Wybourne a Benedictine nun. Maybe not the loving God above all things but the rest rings true.

"Love is more easily experienced than defined. As a theological virtue, by which we love God above all things and our neighbours as ourselves for his sake, it seems remote until we encounter it enfleshed, so to say, in the life of another – in acts of kindness, generosity and self-sacrifice. Love's the one thing that can never hurt anyone, although it may cost dearly. The paradox of love is that it is supremely free yet attaches us with bonds stronger than death. It cannot be bought or sold; there is nothing it cannot face; love is life's greatest blessing."

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

You bastard bloody bitches

I would like to point out for the sake of the strops that I can see happening from the following that my blog is my life. Names are never mentioned. If you choose to reveal your identity then that is up to you. Also don't assume I am writing about you, ever heard that song by Carly Simon? Google it but then you're so vain you probably think this blog is about you (giggle)

Well this post is not about you, or you, or in fact any of you. It is a generalisation.

I imagine most of my readers are around my age. But even if you are younger and especially if you are older, pay attention.

Time to start facing up to your annoyances in life. The following are no longer allowed as way of venting your tensions:
Cryptic Facebook status / posts
Crytic tweets
Talking with others about you issue, but not confronting the cause.

If you have an issue with me / my writing / my being on suicide girls or in fact anyone else, tell them. Don't be rude, just tell them. If you don't feel comfortable doing it face to face maybe send an email or text but do remember the meaning can easily be misconstrued without a tone of voice behind it.

The way of conducting oneself is to no longer be bitches (men and women) you'll find it makes life so much easier. I have tried it on 2 occasions this week and the results have been delightful.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!

This did make me giggle and it highlights the issue especially during the christmas season when sexual assault is known the increase due to increased alcohol intake.

Be careful out there ladies.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Student loans and predicting the future

I am so excited to say that finally at the age of 29 and 11 months I am starting my degree.
My student loan is sorted and my first module is picked - Astronomy. I start in February 2013 (when I will be 30 and 1 month), so expect me to become more of a hermit than I already am.

Science bit, skip if you like:
This course considers the structure, origin and evolution of stars, galaxies and the universe as a whole, asking questions such as: How are stars born, and what happens when they die? How do galaxies form, and how do we know that the universe began in a ‘big bang’? This introduction to astronomy investigates the stars and their life cycles, galaxies and quasars, and the origin and evolution of the universe - and how it might continue to evolve in the future. and how it might continue to evolve in the future.

Firstly I would like to point out I am studying Astronomy and not Astrology. After a hard conversation last night about me starting my studies which included the sentence "why do you need a degree?" (the answer is because I want one) the following happened:

Me: I am doing my degree in astronomy
Other Person: Does that mean you can do my horoscope and stuff
Me: That's astrology
OP: oh its all the same stars and stuff

I did giggle a lot. Astrology is not a science. I don't care what moon you were born under and if Jupiter was rising in Capricorn. Mystic meg, Russell Grant and all them other liars cannot predict your future based on the time of your you were born.

My second point here is, why astronomy? A lot of people have asked that and looked at me strangely when I told them my future plans. If you ask this question I will give you an answer "Because it interests me". This answer is not up for discussion. That's the answer. I am not too worried about my future career plans. I am basically just winging it. And hopefully soon I will be winging it in an educated manner.

I think in conclusion what I am trying to say is: It's 37 days till my 30th birthday and I have finally figured out what I want to do with my life. If you would like to buy me presents try Stack Ring co, Lola and Grace or just buy me a pretty tattoo (I pick the artist).

Here read these:
Mars rover's big Sam lab up and running
Mercury's water ice at north pole finally proven
Giant black hole in tiny galaxy confounds astronomers

Thursday, November 29, 2012

tattooed science ladies

I just changed my life.

I am a geek. I don't deny it. I love watching documentaries and reading about all kinds of geeky things.

At work today I was minding my own business reading about the galaxy NGC 1277 which is just a quarter the size of our own Milky Way, hosts a black hole 4,000 times larger than the one at the Milky Way's centre. The lovely lady sat next to me said "You are always tweeting about stuff like that why don't you just do a degree in it?" So I am.

I enrolled today and hopefully start in February starting with a certificate in astronomy and planetary science.
I have no idea what I will do with this in a practical nature but I just love learning.

Strangely enough today I have found lots more tattooed science ladies. An academic research scientist in molecular biology, someone studying for a biology degree and a physicist.

I think we should all unite and take over the world. Sexy tattooed science ladies.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Seahorse

A moment in life

public displays of affection

Is PDA A-OK?

The public display of affection (PDA), is it ok?

This last weekend my friends and I bore witness to a PDA. Well I say a PDA. The whole evening was an elaborate ruse. We were just to pawns in a game of "I am gonna bone this girl". This PDA was more scent marking the area. He might as well had pissed on her right there at the bar.

The married among us were shocked that people act like this beyond the age of 15. The single among us were scared that this is now how we need to act to find a significant other. All of us were feeling a little bit queasy at the sight.

Beyond hand holding (whilst walking only) and the occasionally peck on the lips / cheek when sharing a bit of an 'in' joke, PDAs are not ok.

I do not need to see you and your most recent catch, or even your long term lover, basically dry humping. Especially so when we are only out and not out-out.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

A day in the life

Have you ever wondered what it is like to be me? Well here is a day in the life of kirsty.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The hottest girl in the world

Today I had the privilege to meet with the hottest girl in the world right now.

I start off by asking her the question on everyone's lips, how does it feel to be the hottest girl in the world right now?
Hot Girl: Well It's a complex mix of emotions. Firstly I feel bad for all the girls that are not the hottest girl in the world right now. But, like the highlander, there can be only one. I also feel super happy as I am the hottest girl in the world right now. Who wouldn't want that accolade?

Dougal: So I imagine as the hottest girl in the world right now you get a lot of attention from admirers?
HG: Yes well the chaps do want a piece of this hot, hot ass. Some of them get a bit creepy and send me their hair or toenails but I just put that all in a box ready for when I have perfected my human cloning machine.

D: How does your boyfriend, Chad, deal with all the attention?
HG: Well naturally he wants to keep me all to his self so he keeps me locked in a cupboard as much as possible. I feel like Harry Potter, only hotter. He feeds me scraps of turkey and bacon and has given me a rubix cube and a gameboy with tetris on to keep me occupied.

D: So, what next for the hottest girl in the world right now?
HG: Next I plan on being the most beautiful girl in the world. I have always had a thing for the artist formally known as Prince.

I want to thanks the Hottest girl in the world right now for the time to interview her and JLS for bringing her to our attention.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Girls like you

Weird things stick in my head when people say them to me.

I went out to a trendy bar in Swindon this past saturday. Lets call it blongs, no that is too obvious lets call it Schlongs.

I haven't been in schlongs in years. It wasn't that bad actually. Not too many trendy cunts in grey sweatshirts with pictures of big boobed girls on the front. Not too busy like that other bar in the same area, lets call it Caker Street.

A strange thing happened in Schlongs and there were others round to bear witness. Someone took it upon themselves to touch my back and then pull down the back of my dress to look at my back piece. Strange. Why do people feel it is ok to touch me? I had to point out I am not pregnant. Pregnant women get touched a lot.

A nice bloke also came over to me. I think he was called Shane. He was asking about my tattoos. I was overly excited that I had work from Shaun Bonanos. He was a bit of a fan boy. He told me about his tattoos and how he was 40% covered.

He came out with a weird comment. He said to me "you're not from Swindon are you?" Well I am, born and bred. Apparently you don't get girls like me round here. He told me he was from Bristol and it was nice to meet a like minded person in these parts.

I don't know why this has stuck with me. But it has been in my head since he said it. There must be people like me out there.

Are you like me? Are you a hopeless romantic? Are you a tattooed lady in the west country? Do you feel a little lost in the world as you haven't found your place?

I have found a lot of like minded people in the world. but I have found them through twitter and they are all over the place. I think I will have to get them all together for a little party.

What do you say guys?

Monday, October 29, 2012

for the sake of happiness

When should you give up what you believe for the sake of happiness?
I have taken a lot of them personality test things during my career, Belbin, MBTI, SDI.

Things that have said about me are:
A dynamic team-member
loves a challenge and thrives on pressure.
possesses the drive and courage required to overcome obstacles.
Seeks patterns in group work;
pushes group toward agreement and decisions
challenges others
Prone to provocation
Offends people's feelings

Let's just sum it up. I think I am right and I am going to argue the toss about it.

But, should I give up on some things. Should I say sorry for something, regardless of how I feel about it, to maintain happiness?

Ordinarily this would not be a question I would have to answer. I just don't tend to care. But this time I really do. I have been in a dark scary place for the past two days. I am struggling to function again. I want to be in bed far away from the world and iphones and twitter. My panic attacks have been so bad that my tablets are not touching them and I have barely slept. I was up at 4.30 this morning trying to contain my tears.

I have been hurt by the lack of trust in me and feel I have been tarred by the brush of the behaviours of others. It would be easy for me to plead forgiveness but for what? For being who I am?

I don't what to do now. Do I just chalk this one up to experience. I don't want to give up but maybe I have to. Is it true that the thing that attracts someone to you is the thing that makes them turn away? Is the start of a relationship doomed to be the thing that is held against you in the end?

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Surviving a long distance relationship

 

When you think of a long distance relationship you think of 2 people that were together but have become separated by work or, for the younger generation, education.
 
Well I have done it another way. My last and current relationship started out from the beginning as long distance. My ill-fated relationship with blue eyes was about 100 miles apart and that was when he was not working all round the country. My current relationship is 80 miles apart.
 
Now dont get me wrong I have no bitter feelings about blue eyes. I did, but I got bored of it. The hurt feelings fade away. We occasionally speak about pointless things. I will always make time for him if he needed it. However, the way in which things ended really has made me feel very uncertain about myself and my new beau. I don't want to measure my relationships in miles but in shared dreams. Of course, physical separation results in increased anxiety. This is not unhappiness. It is nice to have someone in  my life to miss again. Just sometimes when you get home from a shitty day at work or spending 4 hours trapped on the m4 you want a hug not a text.
 
Instead of writing a self help on this I thought I would share the help from that bible of womanhood that is Cosmopolitan. From 'looking after yourself' to phone sex and talking dirty, Cosmo’s got it covered…
 
1.Communicate on a daily basis (or whenever suits you best as a couple) and arrange specific times to stick to, like a date.
Thanks for stating the obvious cosmo. Who would have thought to speak to the person you are in a relationship with at a convienient time.

2.Distance may be preventing you from getting down and dirty but there’s no point in letting him forget just how sexy you are, is there? Sexting, phone sex and virtual loving are all available at your fingertips
Is sexting a made up word? I think it is. And the saying virtual loving just makes me want to be sick in my mouth. Why does cosmo still have the view that sex is meant to be getting down and dirty? I thought cosmo was open minded and for modern women? I don't know any woman that would use this kind of language.

3.Learn to speak the (dirty) language of love, sure to keep him hanging on to your every word. Never done it before? It’s simple! Say what you feel and if you need inspiration try reading erotic fiction to get your creative juices flowing.
Again cosmo refer to sex as dirty. I think someone needs to re-write the tone of voice guidelines they use. Yeah I got all professional on you there. Don't be scared.
What cosmo is suggesting here is quoting 50 shades of grey, unleashing your inner goddess. Oh my!!
 
4.Nothing captures a moment better then a song. Make a deal to create each other a compilation CD of all the songs you love at the moment and hits that remind you of him.
Are you saying make a mix tape? I think you are. I have come to believe that whoever wrote this had a hangover one Sunday and were sat around in their PJs watching Friends on comedy central.
 
5.Ever thought of writing a lust letter? Unlike a text a letter can really let you get imaginative. You can get personal, detail your fantasies or favourite sexual moments you’ve had. Finish with a spray of your best perfume and pop in the post. The perfect erotic keepsake!
I think what cosmo are saying here is that technology prevents you being creative. To put these words down on paper would really make me cringe. If you really must do this try email. If it is poorly recieved you can claim your email has been hacked. And spraying it with perfume seems a juvenile act and reeks of desperation in many ways.
 
6.There will be tough times when all you want is to see him. For moments like this just remind yourself of all the happy moments you’ve had together. Have a look at some old snaps or give him a text, it’s likely he’s feeling the same. Need a hug? Pop on one of his jumpers, it's the next best thing.
There will be tough times, this is correct. Remember the happy times, yes its going well so far. Pictures, ok. Send a text, yeah good idea. Oh no you ruined it. A jumper is not the next best thing to physical contact and interaction. So near, yet so far.
 
7.There’s nothing like a sex game to spice things up and just because there’s miles between doesn’t mean you can’t play along. Try a picture phone game. Send him snaps of certain body parts (make them sexy yet difficult to identify) for every part he guesses correctly, credit him with another minute of his favourite foreplay movement for next time you get together.
Hang on isn't this the age old game of ass or elbow? Credit him with another minute of foreplay. That is right penis is one hand and stop watch in the other. You don't wanna run over, he hasn't earned it. Are we now training to be a mistress?
 
8.Unfortunately, as much as we love our boyfriends they can do things that drive us CRAZY. LDRs can dilute the fact he likes to chew with his mouth open or that he spends hours on his games console, all the little things that would probably cause a massive argument if you had to deal with them continuously. These problems will seem pretty much irrelevant when you do get to spend time together.
This isn't advice it is a statement. This must have been the moment when the writers obligatory hangover dominoes arrived.
 
9.Try throwing yourself into a positive activity. Try hard at work and reap in the benefits both career and money wise, meet up with lots of friends, get a new hobby, the list is endless! That way you won’t be sitting around pining but will be making the most of your life.
So, the advice here is when not with boyfriend do something different. Brilliant. I wish I had thought of this. I had been sat here in the dark waiting for his next visit.
 
10.Ok time to be selfish ladies and talk the big O. The biggest cause of annoyance at LDRs can be the sheer sexual frustration of it all, so why not invest in some toys? Sure to keep you satisfied until the next visit plus we’re sure he wouldn’t object to listening in.
Oh the big O, snigger snigger, I think you mean orgasm, giggle. Come on cosmo write it like this "why not have a lady wank?". Oh and let him listen in, you have cheated here you have gone back to point 2.

Well I do hope all that insight helped. Oh and follow me on twitter @dougalsuicide it'll be fucking algerbraic I promise.

Friday, October 19, 2012

My opinion of My Tattoo Addiction

For those of you that did not see it My Tattoo Addiction was aired by Channel 4 in the UK. It was billed as "This uplifting, warm and often eye-watering documentary discovers, through candid interviews, what leads people to go under the needle, and how fixing a bad tattoo can mean facing more than just the physical reminder of your past."

Within the first 6 minutes I was at the verge of pulling my hair out from pure frustration. Apparently the film explores the world of tattoos. Is saw it more as exploring the world of 4 people who seems slightly unstable. It was not representative of the world I know or the friends I have made through tattooing. Of course it was real, these people are real and their tattoos are real. Of course these scratchers and crazies exist but that is exactly what the true artists in the industry are trying to get away from. It portrayed tattoed people as emotional wrecks and artists as money grabbing criminals for want of a better explanation.

Lets explore our protagonists.

The holiday rep with the cunt tattoo - This started out promising. The guy realised he had bent tattoos and they needed to be fixed. He went to a studio called Abracadabra. This studio was called the "go to studio for cover ups". Well I have never heard of it and it didn't look like the type of studio I would enter. A bit icky, if you know what I mean. All was going well, the chest cover up of a website address for a boat party in Ayia Napa (Fantasyboatparty.com) was going well. Not amazing or breakthrough art but ok. Until it got to the point when our holiday rep turns up drunk. The artist was happy to carry on tattooing him. This artist I think is called Dave Fleet. Check out his gallery here. http://www.abracadabratattoo.co.uk/gallery2/Dave/
I really don't know an artist that would be happy to tattoo a drunk customer.

The Miley Cyrus fan - This 39 year old man has 17 tattoos dedicated to 19 year old Miley. He has been getting them since his divorce in 2009. Now, I understand the point of his artist when he said "he is not harming anyone" but let us add a bloody big YET to that. This guy had what I can only describe as Psychotic tendencies. I have no doubt we will be seeing him again on crimewatch and the news at 10. The artist Stuart Rollisson once suggested we kill the managing director of a publishing company. What a super chap.

Then there was the crazy cat lady - This story gave me hope. She was in Spear Studio. oh huzzah. She was getting tattoos of her 5 dead cats (why does she keep killing cats). Ok she is forgiven I like my cats. OOOOOOOOOOHHHH NNNNOOOOOOOO. She has opened a tattoo studio in her house, Lucky Kitty Tattoo Arts, what an apt name . There is no mention of where she has apprenticed or if she has studied art at all. But them we see that she tattoos her dad. The end result is what we can only describe as a black blob. Please stop Fran. Please go and get trained properly.

We travelled to Ayia Napa as acccording to this documentary the is where "most young people have the opportunity to get there first tattoo abroad". Do they really? I am not sure this has been well researched. They people we saw getting tattooed are complete fucktards that seem to enjoy drinking all the jagerbombs in the land before sharing chamlydia with each other. I hated them. I hated them deep down in my soul. The guy doing these did not seem to care for are art. He seemed to care about making as much money as possible from the drunk fucktards that probably deserved to be ripped off.

Last of all was the tribal face dude - This guy told us he was a nice guy but also owned up to trying to shoot his mum. Sometimes I feel like shooting my mum but I am not going to actually try it. I like they way he thought that 2 black tribal scorpions was better than one. The artist used the term "the blood is pushing out the ink" I have come to believe this means he can't put black in solid.

What was the point me writing all this. Well, it is to get you to do a bit of research. If you want to watch programs about tattoos don't watch this bullshit, don't watch Miami, LA, NY or London ink. Seek out Tattoo Age or The Gypsy Gentleman.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Do not bother being sad

You mustn't ever be sad again as I give to you happiness. Pure and simple happiness.

Look at the cute kittens they have hats on. And for all you dog lovers I added something in for you too.

Whenever you are feeling down just open this page and you will feel a warm fuzzy feeling. The feeling that everything will be ok.

Why not try making your own happiness page. Just google kittens an away you go.

I love you guys.


Monday, October 15, 2012

Tim Shumate

Tinkerbell
ariel
Sally
Aurora
Snow White
Jasmine
Tiana
Belle













Pin up style Disney Princesses - How cool are these? Not sure how I found them this fine moring but they are great.

They are done but a guy called Tim Shumate check out his facebook page.

I have been thinking about my left sleeve for a while now. And I wanted just one piece as opposed to all the seperated peieces I have at the moment. I think I might go for something down these lines.

I do love a pin up girl and I do love disney films. Thinking maybe I might make Sally the centre pieced and add some more nightmare before Christmas stuff in there. So that is my pointless blog for today done.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Go fuck yourself

A harsh title maybe. But translate it. It means go masturbate. It will give you something to do because it turns out your lives are boring.

Sorry I was being mean there. Of course i love you my devoted readers. Well most of you. But i bet some of you are mean and say nasty things.

I'll give you an example. This text arrived in my inbox:
"my life is on track unlike yors going off the rails anti depressants live in a fucking dive thinking your now some rock persona ppl talk we all see it kirsty"

No lets not talk about the spelling or grammar, words is my job and it would upset me. Let's discuss the content.

Going off the rails - Not quite sure how. I have a full time job at a company I have been at for 8 years (ish) now. I don't own my flat but then who would want to. It is such a burden. But I have a roof over my head. Been here for 6 years. I don't have a lot of money but I have enough for me and the little lady to get by. I don't drink smoke or do drugs. I'm not really sure what these rails that I have gone off are.

Antidepressants - Not sure why this would be used against me in spite. I guess some people just can't accept mental health issues. I have been very unwell and scared when I have been depressed. Getting help has really helped me see the world differently. I have found it very hard to talk to anyone about it. It is so hard to explain that I am trapped in my head and cannot get out. I am not sad, i am not feeling a bit down I have lost the will to exist. Someone said to me today I was the happiest depressed person they know. I have rare moments of happiness, but I am not happy. I love laughing and I love having fun, doing things just because, but happy is not what I feel. Medicine is the best treatment for me right now.

Living in a dive - Dive: Informal, relaxed, "neighborhood" bar or restaurant. Sometimes cool, sometimes shitty.
I will be the first to admit that housework is not for me. I can't remember the last time I cleaned the car inside or out. Sometimes I will get the hoover out and then just get in bed cos I can't face it. yes I am a mess, but really a ghetto bar? It's not a working mens club in here. The floor isn't sticky. Well one time I spilt my redbull and that made a right awful sticky mess. I mopped it up though.

thinking your now some rock persona - no, no I don't. there is nothing rock and roll about me. I go to bed early. I drive a 206. I love tomato soup. I do bloody love shouty rock music but I also know all the words to Sclub7 - Reach. Do I look rock and / or roll maybe? I don't think I do. It's winter time. Hoodies and jeans for me. That's not rock. Unless they are leather studded hoodies. 

 ppl talk we all see it kirsty - Do they? Do they really? Well these are the ones that can go fuck themselves. I am sure they are not friends of mine if they think saying the above kinds of things are nice. They may be people on the outskirts of my life who think they know me. If up until this point they were my friends they now need to know that I do not need their negative influence on my life.

No wonder I'm fucking depressed.



Thursday, October 11, 2012

Diary of a week in my life - 5-11 Oct

Friday 5 Oct - Sleeping out in probably monsoon conditions to raise money for Action for Children. Well maybe not monsoon but it did piss it down all night. We had no sleep, we were soaking wet and we were freezing cold but between the 2 water factories teams we have raised about £3000. Which i a massive woooooop. If you donated to our cause you should give yourself a massive high 5 as you rock. Take a look at the work Action for Children do and sign up for Byte Night 2013. I'll be there. We can whine in the rain together.

Saturday 6 Oct - this day mainly consisted of trying to catch up on all that missed sleep. It didn't really work out as my insomniac mind likes being awfully tired. Saturday evening lady jesko inssited on watching x-factor. Man that program is long. It goes on and on and on and on. I like none of the acts. Which was super. Well I did enjoy Rylan. Every year they need to have an unstable and unbleievably camp man that can barely sign. It's in the rules. I suppose I have to support the Jahmene dude as he is a hometown fellow. But I really don't care. Anyway Lady Jesko fell asleep half way through right in the middle of my bed. I stuck it out though.
Other things I could have done in 2 and a half hours include:
Fly to Spain
Clean my flat
Had lots of sex
Had a full body massage
Groomed a poodle

Sunday 7 Oct - Sunday is always an amazing day. This one was the same. It started with a lovely trip to asda. The food shopping for the week was completed and then I have a lovely pop to town. I haven't been to town since the dawn of time. I hate it there. All teenagers in skinny jeans and ne'er-do-wells in tracksuits. It is a weird mix of people. Imagine the cast of hollyoaks hanging around with the photofits from crime watch. This was an emergency. New underwear was needed. And it was purchased.

Monday 8 Oct - I spent my day synergising the low hanging fruit while thinking outside the box in a blue sky way to ensure the successful collaboration at a granular level. Yeah I have no clue what this means either but apparently it makes you sound really businessy.

Tuesday to Thursday can just be written off as nothing of any interest. Them days when nothing happens then you go to bed. I am sure I listened to a lot of Halestorm and drank lots of redbull. I also hung around on my fave forum on t'internet. Although it is annoying that there are many pictures of the ex on there. I think I shall start a petition to have him removed. ha. Spoke to the lovely sexiest man ever a lot. Had a crisis of confidence. It is about dumping time (see my track record) but everything is going fine. That's because he is awesome. I'm still shit at these things. Oh and finally got a right talking to by Parody Clothing. It was the team talk I needed to stop me being a cock. Yeah I was being a cock. I was told. I've stopped being a cock.

This all brings me to Friday 12 Oct - A scary and exiting day for me. I am having a photoshoot with Andrea Lavezzaro. Look her up. She is also know as Lavezzaro Suicide.
I can't wait. I shall report back on how it went. I was on the verge of chickening out at several points this week. And I sure between now and tomorrow my self esteem issues will make me wanna bin it off a few more times. I'm scared.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

The sugar skull

I have been researching the meaning of the sugar skull: calaveras de azĂșcar. There are many different variations. I would like to throw my findings in the pot

The sugar skull
Sugar skulls are made from sugar (as the name suggests) They are used to decorate alters during the day of the innocents and the day of the dead (1 and 2 November). The days are used as an opportunity to celebrate the lives of friends and family members. It's a sad time in your life represented in a happy way.  

The sugar is the sweetness of life and the skull is the sadness of death. They usually have a name written on the forehead the honour a departed soul. The are decorated in a bright folk art fashion with big smiles and lots of sparkly things. Flowers symbolize life while cob webs symbolize death. Burning candles in eyes are a sign of remembrance.

In tattoos they are often combined with Catrina. Catrina is the skeleton of an upper class woman usually based on La Calavera Catrina.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Byte Night 2012

Byte Night is the IT industry sleep-out to raise vital funds for Action for Children to help tackle the root causes of youth homelessness.

At least 75,000 children and young people experience homelessness each year, and of those, 1 in 3 will attempt suicide and 1 in 7 will be physically or sexually assaulted.

Action for Children works to prevent youth homelessness through early intervention by ensuring that young people across the UK are given the support they need before it’s too late.

To help raise money for Action for Children me and a team of 6 other water factory workers will be sleeping out on the streets of Reading on 6 October. Please give some cash to help this cause, even if it is just £1.

Sponsor me please http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/KirstyTelling.
Find out more about Byte night http://www.bytenight.org.uk/
Find out more about Action for Children http://my.actionforchildren.org.uk/

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Hopeless romantics

My tattoos (again), I have been looking for a way to explain what they mean. Cos they don't mean anything, and they mean everything.

And here it is, via this article called Forever mine: The rise of the Maori tribal tattoo.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19628418

This is the last few words;"Taia o moko, hei hoa matenga mou" (Inscribe yourself, so you have a friend in death).

Because it is forever.

The sentence immediately struck a cord with me. That is it, I am always looking for forever. The hopeless romantic declaring there is a light that never goes out.

When I look around the tattooed community on the interwebs and in real life a lot of the members of the super cool tattoo club seem to be of similar frame of mind. Not pouring their hearts out on a blog necessarily but alluding to their true loves being lost at sea.

We are the idealists,the sentimental, the dreamers and the imaginative.

I believe in passion and true love, chivalry and adventures. I am nostalgic for a bygone era of gentlemen and tea dances. I'm not even sure it existed. But it does in my head. A place where relationships are about courtship, enchantment and fascination. friendships were about loyalty, sincerity, support.

I feel beautiful with him. The one from my fairy tale. This takes me full circle. What do they mean. Nothing, everything. I feel they are my beautiful art, a constant in my life where I do not expect anything, even love, to stay with me.

Nostalgia (n)

A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past.
A wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition.


Monday, September 17, 2012

Real women?

I'm making a stand, not just for the slimmer girl, but I am hoping to make a stand for all the shapes of ladies and possibly men too.

I don't know where I was recently. I forgot like I forget most things however what I do remember is some woman ranting on about 'real women'.

  • What I learned is: 
  • Real women have curves
  • Real women have boobs
  • men like a bit of something to grab on to
  • Real women are size 12
  • Some other bull shit.

These real women sound fascinating. Lets face it, all women have some kind of hang up on their bodies and it turns out men do too but don't really go on about it as much. The size or shape of a body does not make a woman more or less fictional. You don't have to make excuses for being a larger lady than me. This real woman thing does not interest me in the slightest. If I were to listen to all this bullshit I would be unreal but, not like, in a gnarly way:

  • I don't have curves
  • I don't have boobs
  • why are they hanging on? is this cliffhanger (classically shite film)
  • I'm not size 12
  • blah blah blah

I guess we all have views of our ideal when it comes to women but the word  real does not really fit in. How about ladies, we all stop talking shit out how one another looks and maybe do as the great philosopher HD says and get naked.

Some suicide lovelies
If you were to ask me what my ideal was, how I would want to look, it would be tattooed and comfortable in who I am.

I am tattooed, yes, but am I comfortable, no. I am more so these days. I spent a lot of my life being hung up on the fact that I am flat chested and I hate my legs. I bloody hate them. But they are mine. My bodily hang ups haven't really ever stopped me doing anything in life, nor should they.

It has been a long time since I have looked at another woman and thought "I want to look like her" cos, well, I look like me and what is the point wishing for things I really can't have. I would prefer to spend my time dreaming of the things I already have that make me happy. i guess I do spend a lot of time trawling beautiful images of tattoos wanting them, but they are attainable, so that's OK.

I am not trying to preach to you ladies, I know my words are not going to change your thinking. I know you are going to be holding them few inches on you belly and feeling unhappy with it. Or doing the lady down bounce to get your jeans on cos you really are still size 8. I think my point is, stop wanting the bodies of other women and stop thinking not nice thoughts of that lady that walked past, you can't be her.

Keep it foolish. Check out the website, yeah? It’s well fuckin’ futile.

Monologue of a broken heart

Lana Del Ray


And I remember when I met him, it was so clear that he was the only one for me. We both knew it, right away. And as the years went on, things got more difficult- we were faced with more challenges.

I begged him to stay. Try to remember what we had at the beginning.

He was charismatic, magnetic, electric and everybody knew it. When he walked in every woman’s head turned, everyone stood up to talk to him. He was like this hybrid, this mix of a man who couldn’t contain himself. I always got the sense that he became torn between being a good person and missing out on all of the opportunities that life could offer a man as magnificent as him.

And in that way I understood him and I loved him. I loved him, I loved him, I loved him.

And I still love him. I love him~

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Adventure time end song

The song from the end of Adventure Time is Christmas Island by Lake.
This is such a cool song. You must love it.

Come along with me
To a place beside the sea
We can wander through the forest
And do so as we please

Come along with me
To a cliff under a tree
Where we can gaze upon the water
As an everlasting dream

All of my affections
I give them all to you
Maybe by next summer
We won't have changed our tunes

I still want to be
In this place beside the sea
Making up new numbers
And living so merrily

All of my affections
I give them all to you
I'm eager for you always
And always keep for you

Come along with me
To a place beside the sea
We can wander through the forest
And do so as we please
Living so merrily

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

The ups and downs of the depressive mind

Yes I am still depressed. Some times more than others.
When I feel myself going to a real low I get a tattoo (or two)
An incident today feels a bit like a kick in the teeth, I just want to hide under my covers and give up again. I feel teary and have taken to eating far too many malteasers. They are nice though.
Things have been going great lately. Wonderful friends being wonderful and doing fun things with them. Super awesome man who says lovely things. Work is, well, work. Got a lovely photoshoot booked up to make me rich and famous.
Then I had to go see a medical professional. One with no previous knowledge of me and only a short understanding of my medical history.
The session went well, 45 minutes of telling me I have issues that I really should speak to a counsellor about mixed with probing questions and some quite good advice.
The session ended on this though "you do look rebellious though, that might be your problem, do you dress that way for work?"  It felt like being kicked in the teeth. I know I am judged on my appearance. I know I judge others on their appearance. It's a fact of life that we cannot avoid. But for a medical professional who I assumed was looking to help me with conditions that sometimes get the better of me it was shocking.
Being sat in work this afternoon has been a lonely place. Feeling that I don't fit in. I even researched in how to get my orange/ginger/blonde hair to a 'normal' brown. Maybe I should just try and conform more. I am nearly 30, I should really grow up.
The thing is I know they way I look isn't for everyone and it really doesn't bother me. The people I care about know who I am and know I will go on decorating my skin and doing stupid things to my hair.
So, the point was I feel down. I know I am feeling the way that tends to lead me to be in bed for a long time. I am sure my lovely flat mate won't let that happen as she loves getting me out of bed, I think it is her hobby.
Anyway, got them tattoos booked. Getting a couple of new ones on Saturday 22nd.

Monday, September 3, 2012

An open letter to the males of Swindon

I went out on Saturday. I go out a lot. I don't go out-out though. However this past Saturday out turned in to out-out. I don't like it. I feel uncomfortable, like I don't fit in. I don't feel I can be myself. And will people ever get over the shock of 'I don't drink'?

I was having a jolly evening until someone decided we leave our reserved table at our pub that we seem to live in and go to a bar.

Upon arriving at this bar it was duely noted that they are playing the same mix cd they were playing when they first opened a good few years ago now. They still have the same miserable, past it, community centre disco dj pretending to mix. They still have the worlds most miserable bar staff and
air con seems to have passed them by.

This is where my letter begins:

Men, men of Swindon, (well I am sure this applies to a lot of places) you mustn't behave how you do. I enjoy people watching. looking how others behave and interact. I watched how a lot of you behaved whilst out drinking and it was really not pretty to watch. I happened to be out with a very pretty, blonde, big boobed lady. You lot were disgusting, staring at her and thinking you could invade her personal space. One of you even thought the chat up line "I was in a lynx advert you know" would work on her. Luckily you were brilliantly put down with the reply "what they guy with the hairy back?"
Try changing your look as well, red chinos and a jumper with a picture of a naked lady on are not the height of fashion. There are more shops out there than Topshop.
The 'lad' behaviour is getting a little old now. Picking each other up and throwing each other round isn't just annoying, I really don't appreciate a foot with poorly chosen footwear in my face.
It's time to be gentlemen.

It's not scathing, it's not men hating. I bet that is what you were expecting. I don't hate men. I'm not one of those crazy feminist. In fact i spend most of my time with my male friends. But if they started acting you like motherfuckers I would totally cut them out. After all I am the glue that holds the group together.


Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Rumours Of My Demise..

... Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

Much concern was raised this weekend that I had fallen off the wagon and become some kind of raging alcoholic who need an intervention.

I went to Reading festival and had 3 pints of cider. I even smoked a few cigarettes.

I can do that you know I am an adult. Don't you guys worry your pretty little heads, I am fine.

I can assure you that you will not see me drunk in a shitty old town bar anytime soon.

Thanks for your concern.
me and the lovely HD
All time low
The black keys

Friday, August 24, 2012

A guide to moving on

So, you've been dumped, well kinda, but not quite...

We've all done it. And don't even try to deny it. We have all clung on like a baby monkey to the end of a relationship with an utter douche.

We want so desperately to keep hold of them and for things to be like they were at the start when it was all goo-goo eyes and snuggles after sweaty sex. We somehow think that maintaining the sweaty sex will lead to the snuggles. In today’s guide I will tell you how to stop spending time with that fuckhole or being a fuckhole.

1. The easiest and most important step, turn your phone off on Friday and Saturday evenings. - Them lovely, chatty, texts messages that arrive at any time after 9pm on the evenings will only lead to one thing. Sex, that you both like to pretend is meaningless, it’s not. I was once told that sex is never meaningless. I believe this to be wholeheartedly true. Don't get in to the situation where the meaning is different for the both of you.

2. If you are out on a Friday and Saturday evening, turn your phone off - To initiate the chatty messages only gives the impression that you are happy with the other persons meaning of sex. Remember you are the baby monkey here. You are the one hanging on to the relationship. They other person is only looking for a place to get their rocks off. You are an easy target.

3. Get off Facebook - I have said it before and I will say it again FaceyB is a no good place. Your sad and lonely status updates will make you look weak and therefore easy prey. Either delete the moron off of your friend list. Or the preferable option delete your FaceyB account. If you do choose to delete your account don't make a big scene about because I assure you, no one cares. Don't go putting a status about how you are going to delete your account. If you choose to delete the person you are clinging to do not put a status either before or after about having a 'clearout'. Remember baby monkey now is not the time to draw attention to how desperate you are. Keep quiet and be low key.

4. Stay in public at all times - You know that one or both of you will want to talk, you know, about 'us'. These talks must take place in a public arena, Go to the pub or Starbucks or Nandos. That way you avoid crying because of the fear of public ridicule and you are less likely to end up having the sex, especially if you take separate cars. Not environmentally friendly but it does help avoid you getting Chlamydia. Don't be fooled baby monkey, the one you are hanging on to with sleeping with other people. You are the backup plan as these other people are not yet quite as hooked as you are.

5. Just stop fucking doing it - Baby monkey you know the other one is a douche. You know in turn you are being a douche by hanging on and hoping. Just stop it; stop having sex and answering texts. Move on with your life. You don't need to be with someone else, just be. Hang out with your friends, or make new friends. Take up a new hobby, I suggest being my cleaner. No good will come of this situation, you know it in your heart. You friends and maybe family have told you, you should listen to them.

Go forth and be free, I promise you you’ll find serendipity.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Serendipity


I tend to happen across things in unexpected places. I found my passport under my car passenger seat the other day. Which was handy if I think of leaving the country any time soon.
I found Serendipity, my happy accident, when I was not even looking in a place I had written off as hurtful.
It wasn't a want for me. I was finally beginning to feel better about what had happened and managed to reconcile a strange kind of friendship.
My serendipity goes by many names, some which will never be published. Ones that can be published are my favourite geek or Sheldon Cooper.
Serendipity I am pleased that you are my happy accident. that I found you and I get to keep you.
Here's to dinosaurs, ghostbusters and the dogs called jack and toby.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Things not to ask a tattooed person

Visible tattoos will bring you attention. This attention will be good and bad. Being a girl will just add to the attention. People won't understand where you have come from. A girl, with tattoos, on her arms, out in the real world, not on tv, or in a magazine.

Yeah I live in a sheltered town. Or maybe in a sheltered world. Or maybe I just need to get out more.

Below you'll find a list of things that under no circumstances you should ask a tattooed person. We have heard them before and we are bored of thinking witty come backs.

Can I see your tattoos? - No. Well yeah you can if they are on show otherwise no. I have no desire to take my clothes off and show my flesh to you. Firstly that would be hugely inappropriate in a public place. Secondly I probably don't even like you.
Do you have any I can't see? Can I see them? - Yes, yes I do have tattoos that you can't see but as above no you can't see them.
Are they real? - No they are not. I have so much time on my hands I choose to draw the same designs on me each morning with sharpies. I like to put that much effort in to practical jokes.
How much did they cost? -  How much do you spend when you go out every weekend? I bet you don't wanna tell me that. Bet it's a regretful amount though. Yes, I spend a lot of money on being tattooed and I will again in the future spend lots more money. the amount though is really nothing to do with you.
Why have you got so many? - I like them. They are pretty. They are my art. along with the art on my wall. But that is also a collection in process. And hey I would like to return fire with the question why haven't you got as many as me or even why do you not have any? You won't know you don't like it till you try it.
You're not going to get any more are you? - Yes, yes I am. This is such an intrusive question. What the hell has it got to do with you? The number and size of my tattoos should be of no significance to you. Unless you are a dickhead bar manager or bouncer who wants to refuse me entry to your idiot bar.
What do they mean? - Absolutely shit all. They are just really cool pictures. This is not miami, LA, New York or London ink., these are not the stories of the harrowing time I dropped a pound down a drain and really wanted a can of coke that I could no longer afford. Nor are they about my flat mates, aunties dog which died trying to rescue a dolphin from a well back in 'nam - Cheltenham.
Do you regret them? - No I don't but tell me this, do you regret your failed relationships or that time you died your hair black and looked so pale people though you were a ghost.
What happens when you get married? - Hopefully I will live happily ever after. It's as simple as that. Oh hang on do you mean ladies with tattoos don't wear wedding dresses. I am sure they do. I bet all that white looks better with a bit of colour next to it.
What will you look like when you are old? - Awesome and colourful. And who says I am going to get old anyway. There could at any point be a meteor hitting the earth causing a mass extinction event.

Thanks for your time. Peace, love and puppy dogs.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

A guide to getting dumped

Ask any one of my friends and they will tell you that I am awful at relationships. I have done my fair share of dumping and been dumped a lot. With this in mind I share with you my definitive guide to getting dumped.

1. Conduct discussions via text. Discussions on the phone or especially face to face seek to clarify situations. This is not useful when being dumped. All conversations should be had by text to cause confusion and make you second guess yourself and the situation. Whilst having these text conversations you should ask wholly unreasonable questions like "would you be so kind as to explain the current situation in frank detail as its confusing". It is out of order for you to expect a response other than: I'm confused, I'm not sure and it's not you it's me.

2. Enter a relationship with a serial dumper. It's a good idea for you to think you can change the dumper. Of course you can. Put all your trust in to this dumper as it will be different for you guys. The serial dumper will promise you the moon on a stick, as that is, after all, what you want. You will then be sorely disappointed when you don't get it. But good on you for being so optimistic to think you wouldn't be dumped.

3. Carry on being yourself. All them reasons that your dumper was attracted to you for, they want you to stop them. Say you like to go out and dance like an utter idiot with your friends and laugh so much you can't breathe, well you should stop that as it now causes the dumper embarrassment. Carry on at your own peril.

4. Be honest. Being honest about what you are thinking and what you are doing in your life will cause the dumper confusion. This is especially good when combined with point 1.
Example: The text 'I miss you' will arrive at the other persons phone as 'I cannot stand being apart from you for one minute of my life. It's harrowing and sorrowful I can barely continue to breathe. Please help me by running away to live on a yacht with me in international waters where I can have all your attention 24/7.'. Your intention was to let the dumper know you are thinking of them as they are important to you but the dumper now believes you are clingy and unable to control your emotions. Dumping achieved!

5. Spend time with your friends. The dumper doesn't like your friends and thinks you spend too much time with them yet refuses to join in and attend social events. This is showing the dumper you are not entirely devoted to them.

6. Don't spend time with your friend. You are too clingy and needy the dumper needs space. Dumping ahoy!

7. Laugh. Relationships are jolly serious thing and should be approached as such. Your insistence on having fun and laughing is not what the dumper wants. They want all serious all the time. Rows should be had and not ignored in favour of saying something amusing. If you are not going to act like a "grown up" (what ever that is) you will get dumped.

8. Have sex. God all you are is about sex. Don't you think of anything else. I don't care if it is the honeymoon period and you constantly want to jump the dumpers bones. You must not. It gives the wrong impressions. Talk about art and philosophy and the weather instead.

9. Don't have sex. You frigid bastard. All you do is go on about art and philosophy and the weather. The dumper really doesn't feel that you are physically attracted to them.

10. Have friends of the opposite sex. How on this earth is it possible for you to have friends of the opposite sex without engaging in coitus all of the time? It's not possible. It can't be possible. Friends of the opposite sex cause jealousy and therefore should be hidden or you will be dumped for being a brazen hussy.


Thursday, July 19, 2012

Seb Rock part 9

Not done one in a while.
Today Seb rocks status quo style

How to prevent a shark attack



A few days ago or maybe even a day ago (time is inconsequential) someone said to be, in all seriousness, "there's always a danger of a shark attack".
I don't think there is. I have been a human on this earth for nearly 30 years now and I have never encountered a shark that has attacked me. I have seen sharks, those little silver or red tipped ones at a pet shop, or bigger real ones at an aquarium.
Surviving a shark attack seems to be a real issue to some of you out there so here is how to prevent said attack.
1. Don't go in to the sea / ocean / an aquarium tank - sharks are a group of fish, this means they live in water, mostly seawater but occasionally freshwater. By staying out of water you a lessening your chance of shark attack by a significant percentage. However if you feel you must go in to water other than the bath or shower then read on.
2. Go swimming (if you have to) in a swimming pool - reports of people being maimed by sharks in swimming pools have reduced substantially since the government made it illegal to keep a predatory shark in a swimming pool. This is not true for box jelly fish. You can have as many of these as you like in a pool. Be careful out there.
3. If you going to ignore my advice and go in these watery places take heed - Do not for any reason whatsoever cover yourself in the blood of the virgin you just sacrificed to your god of choice. My god of choice is Ra the sun god if you want to know. Hathor is also a good god as recommended to my by my lovely Archeologist friend.
4. If you still manage to come across a shark then move away from it - Don't let the nippy little buggers bite you. Either swim or run of you can away from said shark. Seems simple really but staying and fighting is a fools game.
5. The notorious zombie shark - Much discussion has been had on this topic and I think we can agree the zombie shark can 'live' on land. After all zombies are the undead. However, The probably wouldn't be very agile so you could probably just walk away. You could probably uppercut the undead-fishy-bastards if you wanted before departing. Don't be too relaxed in this situation it won't be long before zombie sharks start walking on their tale fins in the style of sharky from sharky and george (crimebusters of the sea)

Monday, July 16, 2012

Let's talk about sex baby

Actually let's not. I'm kinda bored of hearing about it. Well I am not. No one ever is. But 50 shades of grey seems to have put sex at the forefront of everyone's conversation instead of their mind.

I haven't read 50 shades of grey and I am not going to. It's twilight fan fiction. I have not seen any of the twilight films and I am not going to do that either.

From what I understand 50sog is softcore bdsm with very little story line. A 20 something woman who is a little naive.

Now, we all know that deep down inside we are all a little bit perverted. But clinging on to a love a fictional possibly vampire boy it taking it to a new level. Read the sex scenes again. I bet you have had more exciting sex yourself, well hopefully you have. I think the quantity may have just overwhelmed you.

And Mr Grey himself. Why are you all getting wet over him ladies? He isn't what I would call a fair representation of a male dom. He is manipulative and controlling and generally a bit of a cunt. Doms should be protective of you. Yes they push you out of your comfort zone, especially when it comes to sex. They don't however make you feel weak.

Don't start hoping now that all your partners will turn in to the next Mr Grey. It takes a certain kind of person to be a Dom. I have met 2 in my life and I recognize the qualities they have very quickly. There is a difference between a Dom and a dickhead.

So go out there ladies and explore your newly unlocked perversion. I'm proud of you for being so open about it. I'll even give you some tips on how to be a well behaved sub if you want. But tonight when you and your mister are making sweet, sweet love (fucking) don't think about Mr Grey. He is a cunt and is girlfriend is feeble.

OH MY!!!


Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Following your dreams

I didn't know what my dream was. I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. I do now, and greedily enough I have 2.

My first is this. I want to write. I want to write about tattoos and art and pretty things. I want to make up self help guides for zombie attacks and broken hearts. I want to say silly things, make people laugh and say my opinion without the chance of another bollocking. I want to bare my soul and share my happiness and my heartache. So i am gonna keep doing this. But maybe it's time for a restructure over here at 28yearoldsinglemum. I'll work on that over the weekend.

My second dream is work with meaning. I am good at what I do. I can write from the heart, I kick ass at social media as a marketing and customer service tool and if you want an event managed from start to finish I'm your girl. Oh and I'm modest.

I need to channel what I do in to something, not more worthwhile, my current job is worthwhile, but something more, well, charitable. I want to work for a charity I want to be able to put my skills to use to make a difference to other peoples lives. I may not be able to directly impact people, I'm not trained for that stuff. But I sure can throw a mean fundraising ball!!

Being a mum though is going to make this a little harder to do. I can't be a starving artiste. The kid needs feeding and enjoys the finer things in life like hot water and electricity.

Still, I think I can find the thing I want to do.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Girl you'll be a woman soon

It's 3.22am. My brain and body are dead set against me sleeping.

I'm 29. 29 years old. But I'm confused. Am I now a woman. The simple answer is yes. An adult human is called a woman. But I don't feel like a woman. When I look in the mirror I don't see a woman. I just see me.

We go through milestones with our ages
10 - double figures
13 - a teenager
16 - sweet or maybe not
18 - able to have homosexual intercourse
21 - for some reason.
Then nothing. You are just in your twenties until you reach 30. The big ones are only the decades after that.

But sat here at the end of my 20s I'm wondering, when do I become a grown up, when am I a woman?

If you asked me what I was doing at the weekend I was said I am going to see the girls, or the ladies. I wouldn't refer to us as women. But we are.

I am officially picking an age when we become women.
It's 69 dude.

He he he he he he he 69 (massively overrated)



Thursday, July 5, 2012

Custom art not stolen art

Today, purely by accident, I found that someone had copied a tattoo of mine. It was the exact same tattoo, even down to the colours.

All my tattoos (except the black spikey thing are custom).

The artist (some douche in norway) has to take the blame here. He has either completely ripped it off himself or has been lazy when someone showed him a picture of it as inspiration and didn't bother to put his own spin on it.

At first I didn't know whether to be flattered or fucked off. I thought it through, I'm fucked off. By all means use my tattoos as inspiration for your own or to seek out the artists that did them for your own custom piece. Do not copy them though. They are mine. The art was done by the artists for me.

When you are out there on the Internet looking for inspiration make sure that is all you are looking for. Don't print out a picture and say 'I want that'. To get the best tattoo talk to your artist tell them what you like and then let them run with it. They are the professionals.

I feel this was a but ranty so here are some cool pics some cool people did of me. They make me happy.

You lot make me happy too.

Kisses and strawberry jam
Andy Rocketeer art
Me by the beautiful alex

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Sickness and the single mum

I think the big-mouth-on-the-Internet lady met her match this week and it's name is germs.

I NEED TO GET BETTER THIS IS HARD WORK.

Had a lovely Monday at work followed by a lovely evening with HD and the kid. Went to bed as normal. Woke up at 4am on the Tuesday feeling like death had come for me and not quite finished the job. I have now been in bed for 48 hours with occasional trips to the bathroom to vomit and break the toilet seat. And I did manage to sit on the sofa for a bit.

My glands are swollen so much I cannot move my neck and standing up causes the worlds worst headache to become a sharp pain like someone has stabbed me in the skull. This then caused me to be very dizzy and ultimately be sick. Oh and then there is moving. I feel like my body has been hit in every single area with a baseball bat. Even my little toes ache. If you want to come round and see me phone ahead so I have an hour or so to get to the door.

Herein lies the problem. Not the sickness, everyone gets sick, that's life. But, trying to cope with the sickness and the kid, on my own.

During day 1 of the sickness the kid was well behaved and awfully helpful bringing me drinks and getting my bag which contains all the tablets I need to keep me going; anti-depressants, beta blockers, pain killers.

The kid made her own lunch, a chicken roll, and lucky enough we were sent a feast of a delivery by a super awesome person that the kid went to the door to collect and chowed down on.

Day 2 started well but the kid grew impatient and bored. I couldn't entertain her as i can bearly lift my head . Except for the occasional sneeze where I bite my tongue I have nothing.

Luckily her dad was kind enough to pick her up for a few hours.

Them few hours left me time to think. It's times like these that I wish I had someone around to help out. They don't need to be immediately around. Not even in the same town. But just someone I can cry on when I feel this bad. I can honestly say this is the sickest i have ever felt. And I can also say I honestly felt like I needed someone around to help.

I know my friends would be here in a second. SD was super enough to offer her assistance. But what I really need is a hug. And that's not the same from a friend. And SD and I have a strictly no hugging rule. (love you bestie)

I haven't felt like i needed help in a long time. It's not a nice feeling to me. It left me wanting to climb back in my shell and hide even more.

I'm hoping to wake up feeling amazing and cured tomorrow. The fact is though it's nearly midnight. I can't sleep. I feel like I am dying. My alarm goes off at 6am. I can't see day 3 being much better.

Oh and I left my painkillers in the front room so I just had some calpol. It was the nearest thing.

Reasons to get better:
1. Guns and Roses tribute band Friday night
2. Hen do in Windsor Saturday nigh
3. Miss q10 immensely
4. Silverstone grand prix at the pig on Sunday

Friday, June 29, 2012

@addictingtattoo

The best I can do with a shit phone camera when I'm on my own on a Friday evening.