Sunday, April 28, 2013

Dougal versus the moon

Now the moon is not the moon in the sky. Not that big ball that is gravitationally locked with earth (or tidally locked if you prefer).

The moon is the indesit moon. The moon is the name of my washing machine. Also known as the washerchine.

I have come to notice little signs in my life that point towards me struggling with feeling low. Some are glaringly obvious. I cry more. Not in front of you lot. It's not for you. My house which is currently the tidiest it's ever been starts getting messier If you see my without my nails painted then you should be aware things are really bad and I probably need medical help.

So to the moon.

I sometimes struggle with every day chores. Washing up, hoovering, being awake. The biggest of all these foes is doing the washing. 

I don't know how many times I have to re-wash my clothes. I put the machine on. I was my clothes. I leave them. Or I start getting some out and then just stop. Just do something else. 

It's a tiny triumph for me to successfully sort a load of washing on the first attempt. And it will be celebrated. Usually by a lovely nap.  

I just want to point out this is not me being lazy. The depressed mind is a strange place. I want to do stuff. But I just can't. I don't have the energy or the will.  

It's hard to start something if you feel like you failed before you have begun. 

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